60th Anniversary Gift: Diamond and a Song for the Whole Family

Diamond, for sixty years under pressure

Diamond is the traditional gift for year sixty. It's the hardest natural material there is, formed under enormous pressure over a very long time, and very little can scratch it. Sixty years of marriage has known its share of pressure too: lean years, moves, losses, and the steady weight of raising a family.

At sixty years, the couple is most likely in their eighties, and the gift usually comes from the family rather than from one spouse to the other. That changes what a good diamond gift looks like. They have the things they need. What they'll treasure is proof of the family they started, so keep the diamond small and the family at the center:

• Three small stones, one for each generation. A pendant for her or a lapel pin for him with three tiny diamonds in a row, paid for by the whole family together.
• A diamond from the grandchildren alone. Even a very small one means something when every grandchild put in a share.
• Their wedding photo beside the lyrics. Print the lyric artwork that comes with the song, frame it to match the wedding photo, and stand the pair beside the cake.

Three generations in one song

A 60th anniversary song has three generations to hold, and the easiest way to keep it from becoming a list is to give each generation its own part.

1. The beginning: the two of them. How they met, plus one detail from the 1960s: the dance hall, the uniform, the borrowed car, the letter that took two weeks to arrive. This comes from the stories they tell at every holiday, or from their oldest friends.
2. The children: the house they grew up in. What home was like, from the kids who lived it: the kitchen radio, the Buick with the bench seat, the rule about Sunday dinner, the porch light left on until everyone was in.
3. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren: who the couple is to the youngest. The names they go by, like Nana and Pop or Abuela and Abuelo, the candy dish, the porch swing, the birthday card with a five-dollar bill tucked inside.
4. The thread: what every generation agrees on. One thing all three would say about them, like "they still hold hands in the car". That's the line worth repeating.

Names need a plan. A couple with five children, a dozen grandchildren and a few great-grandchildren has more names than any song can carry, even though one song can hold several. Name the couple, sing each generation as a group, and let one name stand for the rest. Say the newest great-grandchild is named after her: that's the one name the song needs. Every other name goes in the card.

If Spanish is the language they courted in, the song can be in Spanish, and nicknames like Abuelita are sung just as you write them.

For the sound, a wedding in the mid-1960s points to the 60s era, the songs on the radio while they were courting. Jazz or Country suits the dance-hall generation, Worship suits a home where faith sat at the center of the table, and Latin suits a couple who danced boleros at their own wedding.

How the grandchildren can be part of it

The grandchildren are often the best people to run this gift. Many are grown, they live in group chats, and they carry their own stories about the couple that the middle generation never saw. Give every age a job:

• Adult grandchildren collect the memories from each generation, fill in the quiz for the family, and run the speaker on the day.
• Teenage grandchildren interview Grandma and Grandpa about how they met for a family history project. They get the 1960s details firsthand, and nobody suspects a thing.
• Young grandchildren and great-grandchildren draw a picture of the couple to hand over when the song ends, or carry in the framed lyrics.
• Grandchildren who can't come send one memory each and join by video for the few minutes the song plays.

If the family has more photos than stories, there's another way to hold sixty years. The Digital Album takes up to 60 photos, one for every year of their marriage, and its pages turn to a song about them. Give each grandchild a decade of photos to find.

On the day: plan around the guests of honor

A 60th anniversary party works best when it's built around the couple's energy. Play the song early, while everyone is fresh, rather than after a long dinner.

1. Seat them first. Next to each other, looking out at the room, with the speaker a few steps away and pointed at them.
2. Quiet the room. One grandchild turns off the background music and settles the little ones.
3. Put the lyrics in their hands. Print them large enough to read without glasses, and hand it over before you press play.
4. One sentence from the oldest child. "Sixty years ago you two said yes. Everyone in this room is part of what came after."
5. Play it twice. Once for them to take in, and once for the room to hear with them.
6. Send it home with them. Set it up on whatever they already use to play music, and show them how to find it again the next morning.

Sixty years, for every generation to keep

When the details are in, the grandchild running the gift fills in the quiz, which takes about three minutes. Pick Anniversary, describe the couple, add a memory or two from each generation and a dedication signed by all of you, then choose genre, era and voice. We write their song from your answers.

Songs can be written in English or Spanish, so it can be in the language they fell in love in. And every song from Only Happy Tears is yours to download and keep forever, so the great-grandchildren can play it for their own children someday. When the family's stories are ready, start their 60th anniversary song.